Candy, who? Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. Food Puns. Final score: 569 points. Shock-o-lat. Check it out. Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid! Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.". You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Ice Cream Jokes. 1. I'm just happy to see you. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. I love it, I love it, I love it. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. The feeling of being loved can be a powerful one. 19+ Best Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns 40 Banana Puns That Will Make You Burst With Sidesplitting Laughter The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Its like chocolate chip cookies, you cant get enough of them. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. Sense of Humor. These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. If you were a concentration gradient, I . And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. A cad-bury. Dairy, who? Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, but chocolate makes it worthwhile. Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. Better late than never, right? Whats the opposite of choco-late? Whos there? You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. I have a couple twix up my sleeve. Nope, all outer space.. Hot chocolate. A marsbar! What kind of bar is kid-friendly? If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There was a convertible. Does your dad own a chocolate factory? The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Easy Copy & Paste! Its nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people So, eat lots of chocolate! Comedy Central. Returning visitor? All Rights Reserved. A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. Furtiveness makes it better. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. Ready for some chocolate jokes? There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. Baron Justus von Liebig (1803-1873), German chemist, The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Needing comforting, I then shared my COCOA with CC. Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. What did the M&M go to college? It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Chocolate Chip Wookiee. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Top 22 Bahut Hi Gande Chutkule In Hindi | Very Dirty Jokes in Hindi Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. What is the meaning of life? Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. You and me are the perfect batch. Could be a Chinese Wispa. Sniggas. At home it is always sweet o clock. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. The Archbishop of Cadbury. Judith Viorst. Do you think you need more sweet? Why? The pope retorts "Chocolates? A naked man broke into a church. They had a baby, Ruth. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. I want to go to heaven when I die! Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Whos there? More jokes for some laughs! We forget that chocolate is derived from cocoa beans-the fruit of the cacao tree-a fruit that is a rich source of these potentially beneficial substances. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. 2. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. You gave us the Wookiees, you gave us the thrills, you gave us the Adam Driver memes, and you gave us the spills. Knock knock! What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? Coffee Jokes. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. 0 Laughs. To get chocolate milk. Want to come with me? We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. "Mon, where's the magic?" TheLaughFactory. Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? Hot chocolate. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! "For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); 456 Dirty One Liners - The funniest dirty jokes - OneLineFun.com They dont last long for fat people. 8) No Country for Old Men: An ageism flick about a couple of retired buddies looking to vacation . Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. So it fits in the box. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. Because he was moo-dy! If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. "Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier. Your email address will not be published. said the cashier. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. You make everything taste better just like cocoa. No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. Diet Advice More Quotes Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. Betty Crocker. Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. An old man and a young man work together in an office. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) They had a baby, Ruth. Kuhtuhluh Report. . Here, have some chocolate. Copy This. Knock knock! Making this ice cream sundae will take up gelato my time! How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. It uses Hershey pronouns. I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. I do not think it is possible but you are sweeter than all the chocolate in the world. Half dark and half light chocolate. Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate! What is the opposite of Chocolate? Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. When people dessert you, eat ice cream! What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! A marsbar! A: To get chocolate milk. Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Are you a chocolate bar? Nursing Home Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. Do you know a bakery around? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Vegetable Jokes. What is a monkeys favorite cookie? Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? What kind of candy makes fun of you? Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. Are you a chocolate bar? Lincoln replied.if you are my wife I'll gladly drink it. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. Because you are the sweetest. Tootsie Trolls. Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses You make my day complete just by getting a whiff of you. You brighten up my day like only drizzle on strawberries can. Change). Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. Cacao. Hershey. You can also listen to t. Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Cao-cao! Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet (1888-1935), the damnable agent of necromancers and sorcerers. Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! Are you a box of chocolate? The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. You're the milk to my cookie. James Wadsworth, A History of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! A rocky road! Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Whos there? Hot fudge fills deep needs. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasnt good for dogs. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Knock knock! Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. He dips his nuts in chocolate. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Love is a substitute for chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. And it always feels good. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Strength Plane Chocolate! Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Are you chocolate? Copy This. Magic Lamp How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. 4. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. #2. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. No, he answered. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. What's the best part of Valentines Day? I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . 50 It's So Cold Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? By eating a 1.5-ounce milk chocolate bar, you get the same amount of these protective compounds as in a 5-ounce glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. Chocoearly. He had a chip in his tooth. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". A pound a day often. I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. God is watching." You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. Knock knock! When the three kids discover that a . Choco-early. A little boy was taken to the dentist. 147 Chocolate Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] Donut rain on my parade. Your email address will not be published. Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. So, as weird as it sounds, memes really can help you to fight the coronavirus. 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. ChocoLATE Why did the candy bar cross the road? What do you call an extra sweet cookie? I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! Mother to son: "I'm warning you. Imogen. Love sharing with your friends and family? 50 Funny Donut Jokes for When You're in a Jam - Let's Eat Cake Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Hershey. When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Cao-cao! Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. How do you know its cold outside? Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. If you're looking for dirty, lowbrow and totally hilarious deez nuts jokes, you're in the right place! . What do cannibals eat for dessert? (LogOut/ The young man loved peanuts. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Knock knock! Hey Cookie, you're the sweetest. 28+ Best Dirty Chocolate Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns I'm chocolate to my appointment! Why is a Toblerone triangular? A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Chocolate jokes for kidsare another way to make them smile. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. Dairy? You are 10x delectable than any sweet food I know in this world. Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?Decad-ant.Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt?He had some Twix up his sleeve.I asked my 7 year old, Why do you have chocolate all over your face?He said, Saving it for leftovers.That boy cracks me up.When is the best time to eat chocolate and marshmallows?In the smorning.Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?Babe Ruth.What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?A Kitty Kat bar.If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?Diabetes.Whats the best part of Valentines Day?The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.What kind of candy is never on time?ChocoLATE.What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?A PayDay.Why did the donut visit the dentist?He needed a chocolate filling.I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasnt that funny. Why not get started now? You never know what youre going to get when you open a box of chocolates. 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. A: Because theyd enslave the black M&Ms, steal all the red M&Ms land, hunt the blue M&Ms to extinction, accuse the yellow M&Ms of obstructing trade, start a panic that the little green M&Ms were invading the Earth, and complain that the brown M&Ms were taking all their jobs. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. 1 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scooter: Haunted Explorations - Overnight Challenge - Exploring With Josh! I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. Kids these days are so stupid. What kind of candy is never on time? 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. Why? She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. Black jokes - Great jokes about black people, laugh hard and share The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. With these dirty chocolate jokes, youll make your lady smile. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. A cad-bury. He turned into a box of chocolates. Who's there? The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone).